Smile like the cheshire cat


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Put on your suit; drink some freshly squeezed orange juice; cuddle your childhood soft toy; high-five your dog; paint your toenails with turquoise glitter and read this list of things that make me happy:

  • Magazines; particularly Glamour. I like having a large stack of old magazines. I don’t know why. I’m sorry I made you pack all the old magazines into boxes to take to the new house mum. I can’t explain the obsession. I don’t even read the old ones. One day I’ll use the old copies to make a fort in which I can read new copies….or I’ll have friends
  • Don’t trust the b in apartment 23 – I’ve been told I’m a lot like Chloe, but I sleep to much. She is the persona I wish I could keep up with
  • Glitter
  • Black coffee with brown sugar
  • The smart/casual look will always make me flutter my eyelashes
  • Anything and everything to do with dinosaurs. I can’t wait to own my own flat so I can finally put up my glow-in-the-dark dinosaurs.
  • Camping. I’d happily camp for ages, which is perfect as I don’t have a job for after uni yet. Homelessness and a hobby combined – silver lining.
  • Snow leopards – the only type of cat I like and they happen to be my favourite animal. I donate monthly to keeping them around because I want to be able to show them to my children. Plus they’re fluffy.
  • Vintage jewelry and furniture. However, I think it losses some of its charm if you don’t know the story.
  • Speaking of which…Stories! Everyone and everything has a story. I have 2 ears – 1 of which works, so sit on the left of me and tell, me, everything!
  • Dressing up and acting as whatever I’m dressed up as. I’m so excited for RagRace, (fancy dress pub crawl in Bognor Regis; come along it’s super fun) I’m going as a Viking and I’m committing to the role all day. I’m going to claim so much territory.
  • Working out HOWEVER, I don’t like how tired it makes me. If anyone has a solution/hulk-like-potion then please let me know.
  • Puppies – the wrinklier the better – and I am talking about dogs not breasts here. Breasts are lovely too, but this bullet point is about dogs.
  • Millionaire Matchmaker – Patti Stanger can be as mean to me as she wants, just set me up with a loaded hunk mmmkay?
  • When you’ve been sat in the sun for a while and your skin just feels warm. It’s worth all the premature aging to feel that content.
  • The ‘your face’ joke. It’s not a joke. It’s an unwitty comeback that makes me laugh. Shut-up.
  • Pimms o’clock though I don’t understand the fruit. As a student I think buying the fruit is a waste of money because I’m not about to eat soggy strawberries.
  • Men. Mmmm men. I’m a ladyperv and I’m okay with it.
  • Travelling – every place is an adventure. Whether it’s travelling around Europe with my best friend, or going for a walk with a housemate. Everywhere has exploring potential.

I want to fill my life with these things, whilst finding out new things that put a smile on my face. Feel free to message me anything that makes you happy/you think would make me and other readers smile, and I’ll be sure to shout about it.

Hopefully these sentiments will help you guys out too because they sure have helped me. These are obvious things that I’ve only just learnt because I’m an adultchild; I’m in childulthood:

  • We don’t need to be friends with everyone, just the people who make us genuinely happy
  • Happiness is not a destination, it’s a way of life
  • Just because someone deserves something, doesn’t mean we have the right to give it to them
  • Relaxing is as important as being productive
  • Don’t worry too much about money, you can always earn more

I woke up with a ridiculous headache and in an awful mood. Writing makes me happier than anything or anyone. I’m so glad I have this blog, even if I’m awful at continuity. Thanks for reading, you’ve made my day.



I’ve missed this blog. I’m so sorry I ever left. Will you ever forgive me?


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Hi y’all! Long time no…write?

I wanted to write about something extremely close to my heart right now and I feel safest in my written world. Plus, you know, I wanted to tell you all. Quick note to say sorry for my lack of writing on this blog. You can pretty much make up your own excuse for why I haven’t written and it’s probably true; except for spending my time with a cat. I hate cats.

Recently I’ve undergone some…lets call it ‘spontaneous relationship de-cluttering’. No you know what, that’s too negative. Lets just say I ran out of glitter. However, despite my lack of glitter I really cannot believe how supportive everyone has been. I’m super appreciative that all my bosses and lecturers are being so understanding about mental health (or shall I keep with the metaphor and say arts and crafts?). They understand that just because there’s something different about the way I think, shockingly, it doesn’t mean my IQ is lower than a sloth’s. I feel completely blessed to know people who treat me like an equal whether I’m well or not; I know not all sufferers are as lucky. For anyone out there who doesn’t understand: Mental health problems don’t stop you from being ambitious and wanting to live life to the full. To describe it as a physical illness…I imagine it feels like trying to run a race with only one leg. The ambition is there, the drive is there, you’re motivated, you’re inspired but there’s something out of your control that will try and hold you back – kind of like you want to be a hair model but have alopecia. You just have to keep going through all the pain and embarrassment and show the world how damn well you wear a wig.

I feel so lucky to be surround by people who are nothing but encouraging. From the bottom of my heart, thank-you.


Today I got my hearing back!


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To anyone who has ever thought: there is too much technology in the world; that we’re going to get overrun by robots; that life was better before everything got more complicated – you can all go where the sun doesn’t shine.

To anyone who doesn’t know, when I was about 4 my ear drum burst. This led to stiff scarring and nerve damage. Since then I haven’t been able to hear properly and over the years it has got worse and worse. HOWEVER:

Today, for the first time in about 17 years I can hear properly out of my right ear as today, I got a hearing aid. It’s both amazing and terrifying. 

I cannot believe how lucky I am to be born in a generation where this kind of technology is accessible to me. I am so grateful to any scientist who invented this technology – you have changed my life and if I could I would thank-you from the bottom of my heart.

For now, I am going to try and get used to it slowly. I’m going to follow my doctor’s advice and watch television with it in. Today is a fabulous day.


This University year could be absolutely frantastic.


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I just had a horrible realisation: Going to the gym and moving the cross-trainer in time with the radio is the closest I’ve been to clubbing since May. What the hell am I doing with my life?!

Thankfully, much needed University related naughtiness begins soon. We’ve got Fresher’s week in under a month – but hopefully nightclubbing with 2nd and 3rd years in the fortnight leading up to it. I really hope it ends up being as awesome as this:

But knowing myself, my friends and our…”uniqueness” it’ll probably turn out more like… Well lets just have a look at the past 2 years worth of clubbing shall we?

This year has a lot to live up to in terms of nights out. I’m so excited. Lets blow some expectations.


So I’ve stopped scoffing


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The 5:2 diet. 

I’m currently on a new diet with my housemate, Lucy. We eat normally for 5 days a week and then fast for 2 days (on these days we’re only allowed 500 calories). Our ideal would be to lose weight and become a little more:


And a little less Dawn French. Our aim? So that if a few pies go missing in our house, we won’t be accused. So far I’ve lost a couple of pounds, but it’s only been 1 week so hopefully there’s more to drop! 

Wish us luck!


I probably shouldn’t blog whilst I’m drinking

Sitting home along drinking wine, eating cookies and listening to Miley Cyrus…Am I 2013’s Bridgette Jones? The life of a University student who wastes money on food and booze doesn’t sound as humorous. Maybe it’ll be on the screens in 2035 when they run out of ideas for comedies. 

Does anyone else go overboard in planning but fail to actually sort out the important stuff? Or is that just me? For instance, I’ve planned what fancy dress I want to wear in Fresher’s week (in about 5 weeks times) – but I haven’t sorted out my new driving license (which I lost well over a year ago). I’ve even read articles about how to do make-up properly, in terms of clubbing, and we all know it’s only going to last an hour before it’s down my face. Why isn’t that the latest trend? Make-up down the face? Enough girls have it whilst clubbing. Or maybe that’s just the drink blurring my vision.

Anyway, on a completely different note….I smelt a Yankee candle today. I bring this to your attention because it was salted caramel scent and I want one. Please purchase me one. In return, I promise I will get you a dinosaur toy. I know what you’re thinking – who wouldn’t want a dinosaur toy?! This is such a good deal!!! I’m so up for this!!! Well, you better hurry. Only the first person gets Jacob the Dino. 

Also, on another note yet again, don’t you find teenagers odd? It wasn’t that long ago for me so I remember thinking that you could only use certain things, certain clothes, certain make-up, certain accessories – otherwise, I was sure you’d be shun from society. However, now that I have lost the attention span to try and be ‘cool’ I have been reunited with my childesk toys. For example, I use felt tips, glitter, glue, ribbon, etc on a regular basis. That make-up article I spoke about earlier? That was about how to put glitter on your eyes. It almost feels like the teenage years were years in which I was practically forced to stay away from the simple things that made me happy. Anyway, my point being is I’m glad I’ve finally grown-up into the 5ft 6″ child I was born to be.


RIP every other day par today. Today, you party.


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As soon as I realised what day it is today, all I wanted to do was write to you lot.

The past doesn’t haunt me too often but when it does, it’s a killer. Today would have been my Dad’s 61st birthday. That was so surreal; typing that. I’m not going to pour my heart out, this isn’t going to be an essay, I just wanted to dedicate something of my own to him. I can only hope that whatever there is after life, whether it’s Heaven or plain old rotting in the ground, that either the angels or the worms are throwing him the best damn birthday party. I’m talking: a big ass cake, party poppers, presents, party bags – the whole shebang. It’s taken me long enough to get to this point, but I feel I am finally there and I can truely, honestly say, to paraphrase Blink 182: I miss Dad.

I’ll get back to writing humorous blogs soon. But for now, just remember not to judge people so quick, you have no idea what they might be going through today. I hope you are all well. Speak soon.


I want to go to the zoo


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I think I’m older than I used to be.

In terms of emotion and mentality that is. Does anyone else feel this recently? I keep thinking about cushions I want and colourful kitchen equipment….I feel thirty. I say this whilst drinking green tea and watching my housemate do his ironing. Aren’t I just the quaintest? Don’t worry though, I haven’t lost the plot completely – I’ve already played with felt-tips this morning.

Appreciation – my mum often tells me to ‘expect the worst, hope for the best’. I love this phrase, it’s a simply perfect way to live life. I like to think that it means that, for example, life is pretty swell currently so I make sure that I am continually grateful. You have to appreciate the good times; make sure you are always thankful. But always make sure you are prepared for the worst – just in case, so that you can sort it out and get back to that happiness as quickly as possible.

That’s what I want for every single one of you; happiness. But realistically, I know that’s far easier said that done. So if that’s the case for you – little steps. Live hour by hour, until you can live day by day, until you can live week by week and eventually you’ll be able to dream for the future again.

How do this? Be observant! If you pay attention, you don’t know what you’ll experience! The other day I saw a dog just watching the world go by, leaning half out of a first floor window. That was very humorous. Enjoy the rest of your day lovely.


A fellow traveler on the bus looked like an old lady but had the voice of a teenager. It was bizarre.


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Hello world.

I look to the future a lot. I wouldn’t really say I’m a dreamer or that my head is in the clouds – I just like to know what I want. When I was younger I watched a lot of films and heard a lot of adult conversations where people would continually be struggling, not to succeed, but to know what they want. I decided I should become sure of myself – I always think of the future, because I like exploring my desires. I’m pretty sure that’s why I was such an avid Sims (1, 2 and 3) player – it generates ideas of how life can go. Obviously this has its negative points. I’ve had people tell me that I’m bossy and selfish for going after what I want. They may be right, but at the end of the day I want to know that I’ve tried my absolute best to be happy; isn’t that what we all strive for anyway?

However, my life is head-to-toe in drama. I used to think I was addicted to it. Now I just feel it’s a consequence of taking risks; which I am entirely okay with. This might surprise some of you but so far this year I have:

  • raised £170+ for cancer research by running the Race for Life 10km
  • been in trouble with the police…twice. One of which was a huge eye opener.
  • got a new job
  • cracked a rib
  • made some new friends
  • broken up with an ex
  • started a new fantastic relationship
  • burnt the skin off my finger
  • started writing this blog (okay, that’s not that surprising if you’re reading this) and I’ve been offered a position to write blogs for my university; don’t worry, I’ll link you when they’re available
  • lost some friends

That’s the bare minimum – and it’s only July… It has definitely been an eventful half of the year but it’s also been one of the best so far. Sometimes really upsetting things happen, and it’s 100% okay to get down about them. But don’t let them interfere with the good times – personally, this is harder said than done but I’m definitely working on it with help and support. For now I shall keep imagining a future where I dance around in glitter and have a Boxer named Lancelot.


I don’t think I’d be good farmer material.


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Villages are quaint don’t you think?

I’ve spent the last couple of weeks living back at the Mother’s casa which has been delightful. This blog contains details of two particularly special events which took place during my visit:

Firstly, I went to Frensham Fayre. For those of you who don’t know, Frensham is a small village which is where rich people live in big houses and have lots of land. The fayre is full of the farmer-type who stroll around staring intently at ales and plants. Needless to say (although there were many extremely friendly faces there), a few superior looks were thrown our way. One lady, in particular, could not have been less pleased that we were spending our pounds at her tombola stall. I concluded she was jealous of our winning skills. We walked away with: 2 cans of Pepsi, a container, a bottle of red wine, 3 jars of marmalade, 1 jar of jam, 3 packets of nasty sweeties, 1 packet of fudge and 1 can of beer. See? Winners.

Secondly, the Race for Life. I’m sure you know of the event. A few days ago I completed a 10km in Basingstoke. I was amazed at the response of my friends and family who donated to the event – in total I raised £170+ for Cancer Research. Isn’t that just completely delightful? I ran for my late Uncle Jim – who battled cancer 3 times before it won. During this time he: became branch secretary for PCaSO charity (, did lots of fundraising, was a test subject for multiple new medications, and helped produce a magazine helping others with his condition. If he did all this whilst battling a life threatening illness, doesn’t that make you think about how much you can face? With the right amount of will-power we can do anything we can put our mind to. If it helps others? Well that’s just a bonus.